


Enjolras Livetweets Sex

by SamanthaBlue



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Crack, M/M, Twitter, Twitter Famous Grantaire, and he doesn't mind sex, enjolras is asexual but has sex because he loves grantaire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-15
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2018-01-08 19:40:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1136589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamanthaBlue/pseuds/SamanthaBlue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Enjolras is frustrated that his social justice Twitter account gets no attention while his boyfriend's tweets celebrating uselessness receive thousands of retweets. He discovers one day that his boredom during sex may buy him Twitter fame when he decides to livetweet it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enjolras Livetweets Sex

**Author's Note:**

> It's not explicit but it's implied that Enjolras is asexual, though he is not celibate. I am asexual myself but Enjolras's experiences in no way mirror those of the whole asexual community. Not all asexuals are celibate and not all asexuals have sex either.

Enjolras had always prided himself on being a deep thinker. He thought about social problems, tried to consider all angles before arriving at the most equitable solutions for the people on issues ranging from healthcare policy to queer issues to child abuse survivors.

He had always been a gifted orator and writer, so he was altogether unsurprised when he took to Twitter and discovered a talent for summing up his ideas in a witty manner, in 140 characters or less. The internet was, after all, a doorway to communicating with all the members of the human race. He would inspire them, light the flame of revolution in their hearts and the people would cry out for a better world.

At least, that was what he had thought.

Four months after setting up his Twitter account, Enjolras had sixty followers. Fifteen he knew in real life. Most of the rest were spam accounts. There were some who listened seriously to what he said and retweeted his better points, but they were few and far between. 

It was spectacularly unfair, he thought, particularly when his boyfriend ran another Twitter account of considerably less importance with considerably better results. 

Grantaire ran one of those accounts that posted universal truths on inane matters. Enjolras could not figure out what was more of a universal truth than the yearning for a better life, but Grantaire’s tweets about the difficulties he faced when trying to get up in the morning seemed to hold undeniable rapport with his audience. He had seven hundred thousand followers, and would get retweeted two thousand times for saying such things as, “Can I major in Netflix?”

“You’ve got to relate to people,” Grantaire said to him, on one of the many occasions Enjolras was seething that Grantaire’s tweets appeared retweeted into his timeline more often than anyone posted about the coming environmental catastrophe. “Your ideas are too abstract. People might pretend they’re noble and they care, but these days people only really get pissed off when their Wi-Fi modem breaks.”

Enjolras would have snapped at him, but evidence was proving Grantaire right. He was still bitter that night, and couldn’t stop thinking about stupid Grantaire and stupid Twitter politics as he let his boyfriend suck him off. Enjolras didn’t even like sex, he just let R do what he wanted because it made him happy. He looked down, and saw that Grantaire’s eyes were pointed squarely downwards as he worked his mouth up and down Enjolras’s hard cock. Enjolras tried to sigh in boredom, but the sigh was choked off as Grantaire’s tongue pressed against the base of his cock.

Grantaire wouldn’t notice, and nobody on Twitter cared. Enjolras reached to the bedside table for his phone, took it out, and typed, “Bf is sucking me off. Trying to lie back and think of France but letting him blow me isn't going to make anyone care about a better world.”

When they finished having sex, they went to bed. The next day Enjolras opened Twitter to find that he had seven hundred and thirty followers, and his tweet from last night had been retweeted more than sixty times.

Grantaire, who had not noticed a thing the night before, plucked the phone out of Enjolras’s hand upon hearing his boyfriend’s exclamation of surprise. Enjolras’s heart began pounding: even though Grantaire knew about Enjolras’s lack of interest in sex it still wasn’t terribly good to let your boyfriend know you were so bored that you took to Twitter instead of enjoying a blowjob. Enjolras was pleasantly surprised when Grantaire laughed, clapped him on the back, and told him he may have finally found a formula that would get attention on Twitter.

That was how @StriveForMore died and @EHasSex was born.

It was all part of the plan, Enjolras told himself to sway his guilt at no longer tweeting about things that really mattered. Once he amassed enough popularity, he would let the world know what he really cared about, and they would love his ideas and finally realise that they were the only way to a better world.

Still, the retweets pouring in were quite nice.

****

4/2/14

9:52 PM: @EHasSex: Bf mad at me. Wouldn’t let him tie me up; makes typing hard.

9:55 PM: @EHasSex: We compromised. I keep my hands on the phone above my head.

9: 57 PM: @EHasSex: Too hard to see screen keeping hands over head. I’m on my stomach now, he can fuck me from behind. Easier to see screen on front.

10:02: @EHasSex: vvvvvvvvvvvbvvvvc

10:03: @EHasSex: Last tweet didn’t mean anything. That’s just where my thumb was pressed when he made me come.

10:04: @EHasSex: Bf bit me on the shoulder when he came. Asked him if he was roleplaying a cobra. He’s mad at me. 

****

7/2/14 

5:27 PM: @EHasSex: Bf mad at me. I won’t fuck him. Can’t type and top at the same time.

5:29 PM: @EHasSex: Bf riding me.

5:29 PM: @EHasSex: Bf looks tired riding me.

5:30 PM: @EHasSex: This probably counts as exercise.

5:32 PM: @EHasSex: If you take a pic of yourself having sex and your dick’s all the way inside them how come it counts as nudity?

5:37 PM: @EHasSex: Just came. 

5:37 PM: @EHasSex: Bf mad at me. Hasn’t come yet and thinks I care more about tweeting than jerking him off.

5:38 PM: @EHasSex: Mad at bf. His cum hit the back of my phone and probably wrecked the camera.

****

Enjolras played up the angle of “Grantaire vs Enjolras” in his tweets: Grantaire told him tweeting was inherently selfish and people liked indulging in a little individualism rather than just a couple having sex. It certainly worked: by the time two months passed, Enjolras had two hundred thousand followers, and between himself and Grantaire, they had begun raking in a fair amount of money from advertising on their accounts. 

Enjolras found he enjoyed the popularity more than the sex. Grantaire had always been incredibly understanding about Enjolras’s feelings towards sex, and though Enjolras had always tried to please Grantaire, there was a little remaining guilt that Grantaire was getting more pleasure from sex than Enjolras, who would have been perfectly content not to have it interfering in their relationship at all. Now they both got something from it: Grantaire got sex, and Enjolras got his Twitter popularity. 

Enjolras didn’t tweet through every time they had sex. Sometimes it was all about the companionship, the love they shared between one another. Sometimes they had sex and Enjolras enjoyed it just as much as Grantaire, because it was about the love in their eyes and not the mere connection of bodies. 

But when it was all about the fucking, it was broadcast for the world to see.

****

Courfeyrac was better at people watching than most gave him credit for. He knew each and every one of his friends inside and out, knew what made them tick. He knew when Combeferre was stressed when not even Combeferre could tell. He knew when Feuilly was mad at his boss, and sometimes he could figure out why too. So nobody questioned him when Enjolras and Grantaire left together, as they always did, at the same time they usually did, and Courfeyrac announced they were going home to fuck.

“It’s been so long since I had sex,” said Feuilly longingly. He had broken up with his girlfriend two months ago.

“You’ll be alright,” said Prouvaire sagely. “I think it’s nice you only have sex with someone you’re in a relationship with.”

“It’s been so long since I’ve been in a relationship!” bemoaned Feuilly.

“Well I told you to talk to that boy earlier,” said Courfeyrac, idly checking his social networks. “He was cute.”

“And I told you he was probably underage!” cried Feuilly.

“Won’t know until you ask,” reasoned Courfeyrac.

Suddenly, a rather suspicious looking tweet appeared on Courfeyrac’s timeline, retweeted by a nice girl from Finland whom he had met on Tumblr. Curious, Courfeyrac clicked on the account that had made the tweet.

@EHasSex: Bf said he was thinking about me all day. Says he’s bought me something.

@EHasSex: Hard 2 tweet w vibrwtor in your ass.

“Oh my God!” Courfeyrac cried.


End file.
